Turn 31 2550 BC

[miccofl]

I could sum it up with a George Carlin monologue but with every other word being **** what would be the point. Other than the fact we have discovered the disease ridden Catcharians, the turn went well.

[miccofl]

Gen. Bubba says there are barbs about,,,

[Laser]

I could sum it up with a George Carlin monologue but with every other word being **** what would be the point. Other than the fact we have discovered the disease ridden Catcharians, the turn went well.Isn't that good....it means we can kill them. :D

[miccofl]

But we are doing well

[reismark]

I could sum it up with a George Carlin monologue but with every other word being **** what would be the point.
And right on cue... ;) ...for your entertainment. :)

I'd like to talk a little bit about the war in the Persian Gulf. You know my favorite part of that war? It's the first war we've ever had that was on every channel, plus cable. And the war got good ratings too, didn't it? Well, we like war! We're a warlike people! We like war because we're good at it. And you know why we're good at it? 'Cause we get a lot of practice. This country's only two hundred years old and already we've had ten major wars. We average a major war every twenty years in this country - so we're good at it! And it's a good thing we are - we're not very good at anything else anymore! Can't build a decent car, can't make a TV set or a VCR worth a ****, got no steel industry left, can't educate our young people, can't get health care to our old people, but we can bomb the **** out of your country, alright!

Especially if your country is full of brown people - oh, we like that, don't we? That's our hobby! That's our new job in the world - bombing brown people! Iraq, Panama, Grenada, Libya - you got some brown people in your country, tell 'em to watch the **** out, or we'll goddamn bomb them! But when's the last white people that we bombed - can you remember *any* white people that we've ever bombed? The Germans! Those are the only ones, and that's only because they were trying to cut in on our action! They wanted to dominate the world - bull****, that's our ****ing job! Now we only bomb brown people - not because they're trying to cut in on our action - just because they're brown.

And you probably noticed I don't feel about that war the way we were told we were supposed to feel about that war - the way we were ordered and instructed by the United States Government to feel about that war. You see, my mind doesn't work that way. I have this real moron thing that I do - it's called thinking - and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. I don't just roll over when I'm told to. Sad to say, most Americans just roll over on command - not me. I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing! And I don't take seriously the media or the press in this country, who in the case of the Persian Gulf war were nothing more than unpaid employees of the Department of Defense, and who most of the time function as kind of an unofficial public relations agency for the United States Government. So I don't listen to them, I don't really believe in my country, and I gotta tell you, I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol-minded.

I look at war a little bit differently - to me, war is a lot of prick-waving. Simple thing, that's all it is - war is a lot of men standing out in a field waving their pricks at each other. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one other over the idea. That's what all that a*****e jock bull**** is all about, that adolescent macho-male posturing, strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about - it's called dick fear. Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate, and so they have to compete with one another to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem. You don't have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the Bigger Dick Foreign Policy Theory at work. It sounds like this: "What, they have bigger dicks? Bomb them!" And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks - it's a subconscious need to project the penis into other people's affairs. It's called ****ing with people!

So as far as I'm concerned, that whole thing in the Persian Gulf was nothimg more than a big prick-waving dick fight. In this particular case, Saddam Hussein had questioned the size of George Bush's dick, and George Bush has been called a wimp for so long - wimp rhymes with limp - that he has to act out his manhood fantasies by sending other people's children to die. Even the name "Bush" is related to the genitals without being the genitals. A Bush is a sort-of passive secondary sex characteristic. Now, if this man's name had been George Boner, he might have felt a little bit better about himself and we wouldn't have had any trouble over there in the first place!

This whole country has a manhood problem - you can tell from the language we use. Language always gives you away. What did we do wrong in Vietnam? We "pulled out"! Not a very manly thing to do, is it? When you're ****ing people, you gotta stay in there and **** them good, **** 'em all the way, **** 'em 'til the end, **** 'em to death! Stay in there and keep ****ing them until they're all dead! We left a few women and children alive in Vietnam, and we haven't felt good about ourselves since. That's why in the Persian Gulf, George Bush had to say, "This will not be another Vietnam!" He actually used these words: "This time, we're going all the way!" Imagine, an American president using the sexual slang of a thirteen-year-old to describe his foreign policy! If you want to know what happened in the Persian Gulf, just remember the names of the two men who were running that war: Dick Cheney and Colin Powell. Somebody got ****ed in the ass!

[muk14]

So thats the monologue of that guy?

[reismark]

Just one of many...