EuroEnglish

[Chris Wilkinson]

My Granddad recently gave me this to read...

Is it English or is it gradually becoming Europeanised into German?

The European Union Commissioners have today announced that, after considered debate, an agreement has finally been reached to adopt a single language for the European Union. The preferred language for all European communications will now be English rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the final negotiations Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spellings had some room for improvement and had accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.

Year One
The letter “s” will be used instead of the soft “c). Sertainly Sivil Servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard “c” will be replaced with the letter “k”.

Year Two
There will be growing publik enthusiasm this year that the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotagraf” some 20 persent shorter.

Year Three
During this year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to attain a stage where more komplikated improvements are possible.

Yer Four
By the fourth yer, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and reducing “w” by 50 persent to just “v”.

Yer Five
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar movs vould be applied to ozer kombinations of leter. After ze fifz yer, ve vill hav a rali sensibil riten styl. Ze drem of a truli akseptibil Englis languaj vill av finali kum tru.

Auf Wiedersehen!
Peter Smith (Petr Smiz)

Editor – My vord spellr vill have ze trubl ziv zis artikl.


:cute:

[Mark]

Heh - what you have there is the entire election manifesto of the Conservative Party :lol:

[Son of Liberty]

One thing I really like about German is that almost everything (there are always exceptions) is pronounced the same way it is spelt while there are words like "women", "opossum" (sp?) or "Arkansas".

BTW why do you call that English above "Euro-English"?

[Mercator]

:lol:

Originally posted by Son of Liberty
BTW why do you call that English above "Euro-English"?

I don't think anyone outside of Europe would want to adopt this new writing style. :)

[orange]

If you try speaking it out loud, it sounds more like Russian at the end.

[Provost Harrison]

I am sure I have deja vu and saw this earlier at apolyton :cute:

[Chris Wilkinson]

BTW why do you call that English above "Euro-English"?

It's Europeanised English...ie turned into German...

I am sure I have deja vu and saw this earlier at apolyton :cute:

That's because something in the Matrix has been modified! ;)

[Laser]

Originally posted by Chris Wilkinson
That's because something in the Matrix has been modified! ;) Yes, you modified the English language didn't you? ;)

[Son of Liberty]

Originally posted by Chris Wilkinson

It's Europeanised English...ie turned into German...


Turned into German? Then "Europeanised English" would be something like "Juropiäneist Inglisch". Lets all speak like this from now on! Err I mean läts ol spiek leik sis from nau on...:D

[Mark]

Na. Zat vil never catsh onn...I mean, that'll never catch on, of course... :)

Seriously:

This is a very blatant and sorry attempt by the euro-sceptics to give yet another reason why we shouldn't become part of Europe. It is small-mindedness like this that really annoys me - carried over from WW2, of course. People have it in their heads that Germans would like to assimilate us into their Kultur, and thus the Germans (and to a lesser extent, Europeans in general) are still seen as 'the enemy'. :barf:

[Son of Liberty]

This was meant seriously??
I bet there are so many more English words and expressions used in Germany than German ones used in GB or the US. Jeans or Computer are examples for words that are commonly used in German because there are no German expressions for it. But there are so many other expressions like cool, Babysitter, experience, fun, activity, hip, etc that are used because people think that English sounds "cool".
English sounds so cool that Germans even invent English words, a "Handy" for example is a cell phone and almost everybody uses that expression instead of Mobiltelefon.

[Laser]

I have to agree with Son of Liberty, although I don't think Chris Wilkinson was being serious. ;)

When I went to Germany last summer, the guy I stayed with told us that Germans like American music and American stuff because it is regarded as "cool" stuff to them. America is taking over Germany with it's high culture rating like in Civ3. :lol:

[Laser]

Originally posted by Mark
Seriously:

This is a very blatant and sorry attempt by the euro-sceptics to give yet another reason why we shouldn't become part of Europe.I don't think so...I heard this joke a long time ago in America. Like say, 5 years ago maybe? I took it to be a joke, and nothing more. Maybe the euro-sceptics in Britain are serious about it, but in America, it's just a joke. If you notice, they don't really make English into German, they just make it sound like Nazi talk. Real Germans sound nothing like that this day in age when they speak their native language. Personally, I think it is just a jest, but maybe some Britons make it more than that....I don't know because I don't live in Britain.

It is small-mindedness like this that really annoys me - carried over from WW2, of course. People have it in their heads that Germans would like to assimilate us into their Kultur, and thus the Germans (and to a lesser extent, Europeans in general) are still seen as 'the enemy'. :barf:Haha, I always wonder why the Americans, Brits, Australians, and other English speaking countries don't make their own EU (English Union ;) )? Just a thought...since the British don't seem to happy about joining the rest of their continent with the Euro. Heck, I'd wanna keep the Pound too, it's worth more than the Euro :p.

[Mark]

Yeah, I know it was a joke. But the fact is that this feeling is a lot more deep-rooted than many people believe. Maybe it is just a throwback to the War and what have you, but there are people who do regard the Germans, and Europeans in general, with a fair amount of suspicion.

I know American/English culture is quite a big influence nowadays on people on the continent, but it was certainly not always so... :)

[Chris Wilkinson]

people think that English sounds "cool".

Same with us and French (posh restaurants etc.)

[ColonyPod]

So Europe will now speak like Hogan's Heroes-type Nazis? :rockon:

I heard this one a month ago:

"Europe will speak with one voice!"

subtitle: It will have a French accent. ;)

[DarkCloud]

As long as the World Language is not
Esperanto or French, I'd be happy to speak German if everyone else did.

they are ubermachsten. they vollig schlagen all english-speaking peoples.

(translation: supermen/outclass)